Anxiety - One Year Later

March 13th, 2005

Last year at this time, I thought my life was over. I had suffered a major anxiety attack, ended up at the psychiatric part of the university hospital for a few hours (thinking that I was going to be admitted, but was told that I didn’t need to be, even though I thought I should be), couldn’t eat anything for a few days, my body void of any hydration. I really thought I wouldn’t see my daughter, wife, and family again. I thought I would lose what I had worked so hard for: my house, my marriage, my daughter, the two cars in my driveway, everything. I thought I was going to die.

But that didn’t happen. Instead, with the help of my friends, family, and (most importantly) myself, I lived. I slowly got back on my feet (literally), began therapy, took anti-anxiety medication (which I still ingest), joined a gym, put on some muscle, started reading for pleasure, and started living again. It was a slow process (I still fight anxiety), but I’m a different person now. I’m stronger. I’m happy. I’m in more in love with my wife than ever before. My world revolves around my daughter.

So, on the eve of returning to the place where my anxiety started (Washington DC), I look back to the past year and smile (and cry) because I made it. I survived. For those that suffer from this disabling condition, you know what I went through. For those that do not, I hope that you never do. It sucks. The past year has been nothing short of the most difficult period in my life, but it also has been enlightening and exciting. I have a new job (I’m loving it - ask me about it at CIL), more speaking gigs than ever, I’m involved in a few projects that I can’t talk about now but will be revealed over the next year or so, and I’m in love with life.

Thanks for reading my weblog over the past 4 years and sticking with me during the numerous transitions (especially the latest - the ITI sponsorship). If you read my weblog and will be attending Computers in Libraries this week, please come up and say hi. I love to meet readers. I also like to network more than anyone I know (well, not as much as Michael Stephens).

Here’s to life. L’chaim.

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